lots to do!

This week is going to be a busy week - it's the last week of school, we need to get ready to head out of town (and we all know how much that involves!), and I need to finalize a few other things too!

*Disclaimer - this is my journal and my thoughts - remember?*

Anyway - yesterday - SUNDAY - the start of the week didn't go so hot for me. For whatever reason I was horribly frustrated. Maybe it was the fact that my house was a mess on a Sunday morning - something I HATE! Or maybe it was that K had the TV on first thing in the morning - another SUNDAY pet peeve! We got to church and it seemed like every female (and a few males - but not many) I looked at just bothered me. (I bet it's a girl thing!) I would see someone and think "you did/said X to me... I don't like you..." or "you act like X - that's annoying..." - I caught myself glaring at people and they had no idea - SAD (I know!).
I even asked one gal - "do you ever have days where every single person just annoys you for no reason at all?" and she smiled and said YES! (I was honestly surprised).
Anyway - I found myself abnormally annoyed with people - people that I wouldn't call good friends - just acquaintances that happen to say HI if I'm in their comfort zone and they feel they must be polite. I was also annoyed with some that I could consider friends, with those that I would say are former friends, and so on. In fact, as I glanced around the chapel I took specific note that there was only one person in the room that I felt I could really chat with - isn't that pathetic? NOT HOW YOU SHOULD FEEL WHEN YOU GO TO CHURCH! It just wasn't a good day - so I started to throw myself a personal pitty party and I was the only one invited!
Then, out of the blue, someone that I thought could really care less stopped and said HI to me. She asked about me. She noticed me. I was shocked - really. I was so happy to talk to her - I think she is smart and I admire her strength, so I was thrilled that she said more than "HI". That short little conversation made my day tons better and she didn't even know it! No one told her to stop and say "HI", no one told her that I was in a pissy mood. I think that's what made the difference.
Anyway - I needed to vent and get that off my chest. I have come to learn that even within the walls of the church- even in UTAH- there are clicks and "fake" people. I don't think that's how our Father in Heaven would want us to behave- but we are human and we do. It drives me up a wall because I want to be friends with everyone but not everyone wants to be friends with me and I take that hard sometimes. So clicks are formed, posses (so to speak) and that annoys me the most. I hate being categorized into one of these groups too - because I don't have a specific set of friends and then exclude everyone else. I'm all inclusive - everyone is welcome when it comes to "me and my gang" (if I had a "gang" that is)! However, I recently found out that my name came up as being part of one of these specific groups and it really bothered me because it's simply not true - especially since I haven't really associated with the group that was being referrred to in almost a year! I guess it just all boiled to the surface yesterday and I had had it! Oh well - life goes on!
TODAY is a new day - a different story - a new start.... so I'm off, to write a new chapter in my book! Maybe I'll make a new friend - but probably not.