Have you ever sat in church during Fast and Testimony meeting and looked at the people that surround you and wondered what their intentions are when they go to church or if they have a testimony at all? I caught myself doing this very thing today as we sat and listened to the testimonies that were being shared. I just couldn't help but wonder if so and so (ok, several so and so's) really believed what was being taught or if attending a meeting was merely a matter of habit.
Maybe that doesn't make sense to anyone but I often times see people whose actions don't profess the same things that they supposedly believe. As I wondered this, my thoughts turned to myself. I wondered if my friends or family ever question if I really have a testimony of the gospel. I wondered if they ever questioned the reasons that I attend church. I know that there have been times when my actions or words didn't reflect what I know to be true in my heart. I hope that my friends and family know that I love the Lord and that I trust him and his plan for me. I know that there are no coincidences in life and that the Lord is putting everything in place just how it should be. I also recognize that we all have our free agency and that we can't really control anything outside of our own choices and actions.
I also hope that my family and friends know that I attend church for a variety of reasons, but mostly I attend church to feel the Spirit, to partake of the Sacrament, and to better myself through the teachings of the gospel. It took me a long time to realize the reasons I went to church but once I gained an understanding of these things it's made my experiences much more enjoyable. I know I'm not perfect. I've had times in my life where I've questioned my own beliefs - I think that all of us do. I've had times where church was nothing more than a matter of habit and I've had experiences where I've questioned the Lord's plan for me or at least my place in it. In spite of those feelings I want my friends and family to know that I am grateful to be where I am today, I'm grateful for the family I have, and above all I'm grateful for the love I feel from my Father in Heaven.
me and Tim Oct 2013
3 comments:
You have always been a better person than I have in this matter. I for one have never questioned why you go to church or your love for the Lord.
I love you for you!
Keri
See, this is just one of the many reasons that I adore you. Thanks for sharing. I have never questioned your motives but also recognize that even if there were things to question...we all have some not so perfect spells and make some not so perfect decisions but your core is good and you do have a foundation. So, if I saw you or heard of you doing something out of your ordinary self all I would think is...she must be having a bad day and I wonder if she could use a shoulder or a friend, or a hug and I'd love you anyway. Isn't that how it's supposed to be. We can never truly know peoples motives until we have taken the time to get to truly know the person. Assumptions are vain.
I want you to know that I got up today - yes... in FnT for rs meeting... I have never questioned you when it comes to your faith or love of the Lord or the Gospel. I am not one who has any right to judge as I am guilty of SO many things. We all have our stresses - we all fail at being perfect - we are all here to be tested... and you, my dear sister, you have always shown me a great amount of faith even in the most trying times. I love you. I know you have a testimony - I just hope that you know that I have one too.
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