How to communicate

On Thursday night, Tim and I had the opportunity to attend a fireside with guest speaker Matt Townsend. Matt is a "relationship coach" of sorts. He is hilarious and teaches people how men and women communicate differently so that we can gain a better understanding of our spouses (and co-workers) and the way we communicate with each other. Here are a few things that we learned:

1 - Men hold your gaze for 3 seconds while women hold it for 12. This is why women can learn more about someone when talking to them - because they watch. It's also why women understand their children better - because they watch and pay attention! 

2 - Men are mostly left brain thinkers - women use their whole brain to think. This is why women ask "feeling" types of questions and men mostly look for data input.

3 - Men were placed on the earth to be our protectors, providers, and preside over our families. Women are to be the nurturers. This is why most men aren't concerned with how something made them "feel" - they are wired to just protect and provide - not to "feel". The example that Matt gave was a hunter going after a deer. He said "imagine that your protector - your man - is about to shoot and then all of a sudden he says "NO, it has a mommy and a daddy buck - I can't shoot it. Our family will eat berries". We wouldn't want that - we'd want him to get the deer so that we can have a yummy dinner... so he is wired a little differently than women!

4. From birth, girls are more alert and watching, responding to touching and nurturing more than boys. They are learning immediately how to communicate through touch and observation where boys tend to try and talk or make noises sooner to communicate. 

Anyway... the list goes on and one and it was so interesting to listen to Matt speak. It was fun to laugh at things that can be stressful in a relationship and realize that the whole room was laughing too - meaning that everyone has been there - done that! Matt also said that when a man's ego starts to be challenged that's when he engages in fights. (for example, if you said something about his driving -you are challenging his ego and that doesn't make his left brain happy! hehehee).

Finally, Matt wrapped up the entire 90 minutes by using the scriptures and showing us how Christ is the most effective communicator. He pointed out how Christ would talk and then WATCH. He talked about how Christ would PROVIDE and NURTURE all at the same time. He talked about how it is by divine design that men and women are wired to communicate the way we do. So cool!!

It was a great evening and I'm so glad that we took the opportunity to go. It was like listening to a stand up comedy routine about our life! HA!!

Matt offers "date nights" where he has all sorts of topics that he discusses, I may look into those - if they are anything like what we heard on Thursday, this could be a ton of fun!!